I'm Twenty Nine Years Old, and No, My Vag Isn't Dry!

So turning twenty nine has been an amazingly clarifying experience that left my with the greatest ability to give no fuck as I have ever had in my life. A combination of major life changes and growing satisfaction with my life's direction has given me the confidence to push forward on my unconventional path of balancing work life and debauchery, fully embracing my south city lifestyle with some of the best experiences.

I was driving home from work and contemplating how I was going to kick off my totally awesome birth weekstravaganza when it dawned upon me that my boyfriend didn't care about me so I droped that dick the same night. The next morning, I was overwhelmed with endless possibilities and excitement. I was finally free of that asshole and I was looking to get under a new one.I have the habbit of wanting to fuck the best of the worst so it wasn't hard to figure it out. 

The People's Joy Parade was my inevitable destination. I was totes feeling some girl time with one of the most rad babes I know and excitement was high. After grabbing some Stag for my backpack, we headed towards inebriation with hearts filled with joy and determination to have a great fucking time. Beer, whiskey, mojitos, and a Pina Colada in a cored out pineapple later, I was fucking sloshed! That is when I stumbled into a penis I was curious about(dude was a total dick but I like to figure these things out for myself). Drunken hookups ensued for the next couple of weeks and I had to wonder if there was something in the water at that house(second guy I hooked up with in that same house and the dicks ran big). The first indication of the dude's dickatude was during a not so hot sexting session. I am an aweful sexter, but I thought that I should give it a try. In an attempt to be comedic, I texted a photo of my condom drawer(yes, I have a drawer full of fucking ccondoms. I'm no baby's mama!) complete with the lube I had recently purchased. That is when it happened..... I receive a question that made me seriously question who I was chosing to surround myself with. "Is your vag dry?" No, my vag is not fucking dry, but it's no longer wet for you! I stopped giving a fuckand started to hook up with nicer dudes. I love being twenty nine. I wonder what I'll be like at thirty?